Apple, Pear and Cranberry Crumble

I recently got yelled at for walking on the sidewalk while someone was trying to park.

I was visiting my parents and stepped outside to take a call. The sidewalk there is curved in front of the building and the parking spaces face head on with a row of concrete parking blocks preventing someone from parking on the sidewalk, so as I talked, I walked back and forth on the sidewalk.

Just like it is impossible for me to talk without using my hands (in most conversations, I look like I am trying to direct air traffic on Thanksgiving weekend, or at the very least playing a game of charades with someone who has just lost their contact lens), it is equally impossible for me to be on the phone for any length of time without pacing around like I’ve just had a triple shot of espresso.

So there I was, pacing and talking and enjoying the breath of fresh air when an elderly woman pulled into one of the spaces. Before she was even out of the car, she was yelling something through the window. I wasn’t really paying attention as my pacing and wild gesticulating were taking up most of my brainpower at the moment, so I kinda ignored her and kept on doing what I was doing.

The next thing I know, she had rolled down her window and was shouting something that was clearly directed at me. Thinking that she didn’t see the AirPods I was using and maybe assumed I was talking to her (or myself, and maybe she was asking if it was safe to get out of the car without a police escort), I held up my phone and indicated I was making a call. Strangely, this seemed to enrage her, and she honked the horn at me.

Wondering if she needed some help, I approached the car and asked her if everything was okay.Wrong question.

“I almost hit you,” she snapped at me.

“Excuse me?” I asked. Had I narrowly escaped death without even realizing my life had been hanging by a thread?

“You weren’t paying attention to me parking, and I could have killed you. You need to pay more attention to where you are and what is going on around you.”

“I’m sorry. How exactly was I in danger? I was on the sidewalk the whole time, and there are parking blocks,” I explained.

“That doesn’t matter. The way people drive these days, I could have driven right up onto the sidewalk and hit you because you weren’t paying any attention to me.”

So in that scenario, you would be aiming at me to teach me a lesson? Should I have offered to valet park for you to ensure my safety? Maybe I should have stood there saying “beep, beep, beep” as you got closer to the front of the spot. I am not usually at a loss for words, but this one had me stumped. I now have to worry about getting hit by a car while walking on a sidewalk in a small, 6 car parking lot? Maybe I should start worrying about getting eaten by a shark the next time I am in the pool, or struck by lightening when I am out walking the dog in the 70 degree sunshine. Seriously?

I decided not to go all Jack-Nicholson-In-The-Shining on her though.

“Okay, thank you1” I waved her off and headed in the opposite direction.

“I mean it,” she yelled after me, “you could have been killed!”

What she didn’t seem to realize is that at this point, I was not the one in danger anymore.

Ingredients:

3/4 cup fresh cranberries
1 1/2 cups large diced pear (peel first)
1. 1/2 cups large diced apple (like a gala, fuji or honey crisp –sweet, not tart –peel before cutting)
1 teaspoon all spice
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 Tablespoon maple syrup (optional)
1/2 cup rolled oats, pulsed in a processor or blender to resemble rough crumbs
2 Tablespoons monkfruit (sugar)
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
2 Tablespoons softened butter

Directions:

Preheat oven to 400.
In a large bowl, combine the pears, cranberries, apples, all spice, vanilla and maple syrup in a medium bowl. Mix well, then divide among five 3″ ramekins.
In a small bowl, combine the oats, monkfruit, cinnamon, ginger and butter. Mix until it resembles wet sand. Divide the mixture evenly over the fruit cups.
Bake for 25-30 minutes until the to is lightly browned and the fruit is bubbling at the edges.