Artichoke, Leek and Red Pepper Tart

The most frequent question I get asked about being vegan is, “What do you eat?”

And what they really mean by this is: what do you eat besides salads, because I really have no idea what I would eat as a vegan beyond a salad, and you can’t get enough protein from salads, so you are going to be dead in like, two weeks, a month tops, right?

And so, I gamely list a few things that I think won’t freak them out like beans and quinoa.  I learned the hard way not to even breathe the word tofu because the second I say it, I might as well have told them that I eat Elmer’s Glue, covered in tree bark and rolled in poison ivy.

“And then I dance around an open fire, hug a few trees, braid daisies into my hair and call it a night.”

Sigh.

The second most frequent question I get asked is, “But how do you make things without eggs, cheese or milk? I could never live without dairy!”

And what they really mean is: Milk and cheese from nuts…ewwwwwww. That can’t taste good.

Trying to defend dairy substitutes is like trying to  defend someone who has just disregarded the “we don’t swim in your toilet, don’t P in our pool” sign.  Not even Matlock, Perry Mason or My Cousin Vinny could win that one.

“Well, you can use tofu (Pull up, pull up!), coconut milk (Danger Will Robinson!), nuts (Yes, that is what they think you are if you expect them to eat cheese made from nuts), pureed fruits (now you’re just getting weird) or……..and you’ve lost them.

So, I decided with this recipe to really go for it and see how many no-nos I could put in one thing.  I am pleased to say, I’ve hit the trifecta of weird and inedible food items: tofu, coconut milk and quinoa!

And you know what?  Nobody was any the wiser.  Hehehehehe.

Ingredients:

Crust:

• 1 cup quinoa, ground into flour (measure before grinding)
• 8 Tablespoons butter
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• water, if necessary (I added 2 Tablespoons)

Filling:

• 1 can artichoke hearts, drained, rinsed and patted dry
• 1/2 cup sliced leeks
• 3/4 cup diced red pepper
• 1 Tablespoon chopped parsley
• 3/4 cup silken tofu
• 1/2 cup coconut milk
• 1 Tablespoon arrowroot
• 2 Tablespoons nutritional yeast (optional — you can also use parmesan)
• 1/2 teaspoon turmeric if you want a really deep golden, yellow color (optional)

Directions:

Crust:

1. Combine all ingredients in either stand mixer with a hook, food processor, or by hand (I just put my hands into the mixture and mashed it to combine). Add as much water as it takes to make a dough that will hold together tightly.
2. Wrap the dough in plastic and refrigerate for 1 hour or overnight.
3. Work the dough till it is pliable enough to either roll out or press into a tart pan. Use pie weights on the crust.
4. Bake at 350 for 12 minutes.  Remove from the oven and cool.

Filling:

1. Preheat the oven to 350
2. Slice the artichoke hearts into thin slices
3. In a pan, saute the artichokes, leeks ad peppers in a splash of oil with a dash of salt for 5 minutes (or until the leeks are soft.  Add the parsley and stir well to combine.
4. In a blender, combine the tofu, milk, arrowroot and yeast.
5. In a medium bowl, combine the artichoke mixture and tofu mixture.  Pour into the pie crust.
6. Bake for 20 minutes.
7. Remove from the oven and cool 5-10 minutes before cutting.

Enjoy!