Buttermilk Biscuits

/ They are doing some work in our neighborhood which has involved digging up pretty much every street around us for the last couple of weeks.  Mostly, this hasn’t been an issue.  Mostly.

Three weeks ago, they hit the water main.  This was an issue.  For the next four days, we lived in the land of 1870 where you had to fill pots with water and boil them before doing anything.  A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G.  Washing, rinsing, brushing teeth, anything. I kept waiting for Pa Ingalls to show up. The whole boiling the water thing also only worked up to the point where I added soap and water to my oatmeal pot, put it on to boil, forgot I did that and took the dog outside.  Burnt on chocolate oatmeal  is not something you want to come home to. I may need counseling to get over it.

Then two weeks ago, they hit a gas line.  Part of the neighborhood had to be evacuated.  The rest of us had gas, no gas, a little gas, no gas. Turning on my stove was like playing roulette.  “Do you feel lucky?” the dials would taunt me. Took me an hour and a half to cook a pot of rice, and then the gas guys had to come into each and every house to make sure all the gas appliances worked.  When asked what we had that ran on gas, I told him the stove was the only thing.  While standing in front of our gas fireplace.  Yeah.  He got a good chuckle out of that.

Last week, it was the cable lines that got cut.  One minute I’m zooming away, happy and carefree, the next, I’m talking to myself and wishing I could google “how to make puppets” so I could keep everyone from snarling at each other all night from internet and cable withdrawl.

I’m just curious how all of this is happening.  For weeks, crews have been crawling all over the neighborhood drawing circles, lines, arrows, dots and dashes with paint in all the colors of the rainbow.  It looks like they let a bunch of toddlers loose with permanent markers and bad attitudes.  Millenia from now, archaeologists will find evidence of these markings and conclude we were a primitive society who communicated through basic signs and symbols.

So what instructions exactly they are giving the people they hire?  Are they making it clear that the yellow lines indicate gas and should be avoided, or are they spinning a wheel and saying,”Okay, it landed on yellow and a pickaxe.  You know what to do.”  Do they roll dice each morning and if they come up snake-eyes we lose water that day?  How is it possible that they keep hitting major utility lines?????? And more important, what will this week bring?

Can’t wait to find out.

Ingredients:

• 1  1/2 cups white pastry flour
• 1/2 cup corn flour (Not cornmeal–it will change the texture and the amount of milk needed)
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1 Tablespoon baking powder
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 5 Tablespoons vegan butter
• 1 Tablespoon of apple cider vinegar in a 1 cup measuring cup, then filled to the top with almond milk *
• 1 Tablespoon honey

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 450
2. Combine flours, salt, baking powder and baking soda in a medium bowl.  Grate or cut the cold butter into the bowl and combine with the flour mixture.
3. Add the milk and honey and mix until the mixture is sticky and completely combined. * add all the milk if making biscuits for the top of chickpea pot pie. Start with 3/4 cup for regular biscuits and add up to the full cup as needed.
4. Turn out onto a floured board and fold over on itself about a dozen times, adding more flour as needed.
5. Roll out or press into an 8×8 square and cut 2  1/2 inch biscuits.  Put on a baking sheet.
6. Bake 8-10 minutes.  Makes approximately 8-10 biscuits.

Enjoy!