Chocolate Bruschetta

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I am used to not being good at technology.  Computers generally leave me at a loss to do more than turn them on and muddle through a basic email.  But when an analogue watch defeats me, well, that’s pretty pathetic.

Tim got a new watch about a year ago.  He loves watches.  They are his thing.  But this watch though has more dials and knobs and hands, and numbers, and letters and sounds than an arcade.  It is incredibly complicated.

Because it is so complicated, he does not wear it that often.  Which means it sits at home a lot.  And annoys me.  A lot.

Some sick and twisted person  apparently installed a factory setting where an alarm goes off at random times during the day. And we have no idea how to stop it.  I can be downstairs with music playing, and at two o’clock on a random Tuesday, I will hear the incessant “beep, beep, beep,” repeated sixteen million times.  I have tried in vain to figure out which button will make it stop, but no matter what I push, pull, or turn, I have been unsuccessful. And Tim is just plain useless.  I swear he leaves it at home so escape it. And annoy me.

The other day, we gave it to our nephews to see if they could stop this clearly possessed watch from driving us all crazy with its demonic beeps.  They downloaded instructions which may as well have been written in Sanskrit for all the good they did, they watched YouTube videos where clearly the people were just making things up because they had no idea how this thing works either, they played the Beatles’ White Album backwards, chanted under a full moon and sacrificed a whole container of chocolate ice cream.  Nothing worked.  But they thought it did.

For a few days, all seemed well.  It kept time like a normal watch and not like a possessed artifact that would melt your face if you looked directly at it.  And then at 4am this morning, all hell broke loose.

Beep, beep, beep.  Are you kidding me?  Beep, beep, beep. Make it stop. Beep, beep, beep.

And Tim, who wakes up at the sound of a feather dropping onto a cotton ball, slept right through it.

Just as I couldn’t take it anymore and was contemplating giving it a flying lesson from our window, it stopped.  Or so I thought.

I finally drifted back off to sleep, and then at 4:30…beep, beep, beep!  Are you kidding me?????  Once again, I was the only one to hear it.  I still think we had been transported to an alternate universe.  Tim was sound asleep, and the dog was snoring to beat the band.  And the watch kept beeping.  And nothing would make it stop.

We still haven’t figured it out, but from now on, it is banished to the closet.  Locked in a box.  Under a pile of dirty laundry.  With a 50lb weight on top.  And I’m sleeping with one eye open.

Ingredients:

• 12 slices of a baguette
• 3 Tablespoons date syrup
• 1/4 cup orange juice
• 1/4 cup plus 2 Tablespoons cacao powder
• 1 orange, peeled and segments separated and cut into small pieces
• walnuts and chocolate chips for garnish

*You can sub out the orange juice for almond milk and use as a dip for strawberries!  Adjust the amount of milk till you get the desired consistency.

**Option to add a 1/4 teaspoon of extract to these to deepen the flavor!

Directions:

1. Preheat the broiler while you cut the baguette.  Place the slices on a baking sheet and lightly brush with oil (I recommend canola, or refined coconut).  Put under broiler for about 1 minute till the bread starts to turn golden.  Be careful; the bread goes from golden to burnt in no time. Remove from the oven and allow to cool.
2. Put the date syrup, orange juice and cacao powder in a blender or bowl and whisk or blend till smooth and creamy.
3. To serve: spread the chocolate on the bread slices and top with orange pieces, walnuts and chocolate chips. or arrange the bread on a platter and put the other items in bowls and let guests make their own!

Enjoy!