Corned Beef

Recently, I was trying to fill out a form online and was stumped when it came to choosing a code that best fit my situation. So I called the helpline. Big mistake. Big. Huge.

Me: (explains situation) So I’m wondering what code to put down in the last box.

Helpline: I’m not sure. Have yo searched “food”?

Me: Yes, but none of the descriptions fit what I am looking for.

Helpline: Have you tired “consulting”?

Me: Doing it now. Nope, literally nothing comes up. It says search again.

Helpline: How about “plants” since you are plant based.

Me: Tried it, but eating plants and growing them are two different things, so I don’t think I would fall under “farming” or “agriculture” which are all that come up.

Helpline: There are a lot of categories, so I think you should just keep on searching.

Me: I searched for quite a while before I called you, so I was really hoping you could help me find the right category.

Helpline: I’m really sorry. I can’t. If I helped you, I’d have to help everyone.

Me: I’m sorry, what?

Helpline: Click.

Ingredients:

1/2 lb. extra firm tofu
1/2 can jackfruit
1/2 teaspoon each of salt and pepper
1 Tablespoon dijon mustard
1/8 teaspoon ground cloves
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
1/8 teaspoon all spice
1/2 Tablespoon maple syrup
1/4 cup vegan mayonnaise
2/3 cup bread crumbs (do not add if you are making hash)
1 cup diced potatoes (optional if you want to make hash)

Directions:

Pulse jackfruit and tofu in processor till it resembles large crumbles. Pour into a large bowl.
Add the salt and pepper through bread crumbs if you want to make a corned beef sandwich (aka reuben or add the potatoes but not the breadcrumbs if you want to make hash), and mix well.
For hash, cook in a lightly oiled pan over medium low till the potatoes are cooked.
To make corned beef “slices”, preheat the oven to 400, divide the mixture into 4 equal parts and place them on a lined sheet pan. Shape them into a flat rectangular shape about the same size as a slice of rye bread.
Bake for 40 minutes, flipping halfway through.
Option to cook them in a pan on the stovetop: place them in a lightly oiled pan and cook over low, medium low heat about 10 minutes each side till firm and browned (*they will not get as firm as the oven baked and you have to be careful not to burn them, so this method is possible, but not highly recommended.).
Left is oven baked right is pan fried
To make the reuben: Place some vegan butter in a frying pan and heat over medium heat. when the butter is melted, place two pieces of rye bread in the pan and place a piece of vegan cheese on top of each piece of bread (If you can find Swiss, that’s great, but if not, I recommend provolone). Place a spoonful of thousand island dressing on top of each piece of cheese, then place one slice of the corned beef on one piece and top with some sauerkraut. Flip the piece of bread that only has the cheese and dressing facedown on top of the slice with the corned beef and press down gently. Continue cooking till the side down in the pan is golden, then flip and continue browning the other side if it hasn’t browned enough.