Cranberry Sauce

Is it just me, or are appliances getting a bit too chatty?

I came downstairs one recent morning and the dishwasher light was still red from the night before.  I tentatively opened it, expecting to be swept away in a tidal wave of dirty water and dishes, but all it did was tell me to restart it and close the door.  No clue why I had to do this, except that it told me to. And I was afraid to disobey.

Just turning the thing on requires a great deal of conversation.  First, it introduces itself and lets you know it comes from Scandinavia.  Then, it tells you how it is feeling, if it needs anything and if it feels like working that day.  But the worst is what comes next.  It insists on taking you through all of the options, and I mean ALLLLLLLLL of the options before you can select the one you want.  Doesn’t matter how many times you’ve used it, you have to go through the whole thing every time.  It’s kind of like hearing the same family story for the kajillionth time about when you were two and bit the head off the Saint Joseph statue from the nativity scene (In my defense, it was painted with vegetable dye and I mistook it for chocolate.  Like the Easter bunny, only not.  And I was TWO!) And by the way, none of the options are quick.  They are all energy efficient which means the fastest one takes 9 hours.

And it’s not just our dishwasher.  Our clothing washer does the same thing.  It nags at you to run the cleaning cycle right when you desperately need it to wash the pants you just dumped a whole glass of cranberry juice on.  It wants you to clean out the filter and bring it a cup of tea and shortbread cookies.  It also offers a multitude of settings, none of which will allow you to finish a load of laundry in less time than it takes to run a marathon.  Since when does energy efficient equal daylong washing cycles?  It would take less energy to find my grandmothers washing board and ringer, or beat the clothes on rocks down by the river.

I don’t want its life story, or every trick up its sleeve offered to me when all I want is clean underwear.  I don’t want to friend it on Facebook or follow it on Instagram.  I just want to be able to to laundry without scheduling a day and a half to spend quality time with an appliance.

I’m hoping they never make my stove “smart”, because that will finish me off.

Ingredients:

• 1 lb cranberries
• 1 cup apple cider
• 1/2 cup orange juice
• 2 Tablespoons maple syrup
• 1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions:

1. Rinse the cranberries and put them into a small pot with the apple cider and orange juice.  Bring to a low boil, then simmer for 20-30 minutes till the cranberries pop and the mixture thickens.
2. Remove from heat and add syrup and vanilla. Cool, then refrigerate till ready to serve.

Enjoy!