Cucumber Mango Salad

You know how when you watch those nature shows and there is a weak member of the herd, there is for sure a predator nearby licking its lips thinking, “Mmmmm.  Dinner!”?  Well, that’s my family.  We are the predators.

Case in point: a recent text chain.

My SIL sent around a picture of my niece in her dance costume.  Of course, there were the usual, “Beautiful!’ “Looks good!” comments, but the chain was domed from the start.

Instead of saying “tap outfit”, it auto-corrected to “rap outfit”.  Fortunately, she corrected it before the inevitable, “What’s her rap name because Vanilla Ice is already taken?” comments started multiplying like flies at a picnic.

Someone in the chain decided to up the ante and go beyond the general “Nice” route by saying, “Our Stevie.  Wish we had those days back”, which led to “Who the heck is Stevie?” and “What picture are you looking at?”

It was finally established that Stevie was a horse that my niece used to ride at the annual fair, which led to inquiries as to what kind of powerful medication was being taken and how the rest of us could get some.  My sister also used it to fire the opening salvo: “I fail to see the resemblance”, she texted.

And my father came back with: Who’s on third?

And then we all piled on: No, who’s on first, what’s on second.  I don’t know…third base.

Sadly, my niece didn’t understand the Abbot and Costello reference (kids!) and had the misfortune to say so.  She also had the misfortune to try and use a “quick technique” to text and it came out “You mount of made me watch a weird video. I think that mount of been the routine.”

Not big on cutting even children a break, we all jumped on it like a chocoholic on a Hershey bar: Mount?  Might want to rethink the quick technique. Not really working for you.

To which she made matters worse by replying: it works?……I mean works! (apparently not, thanks for providing more proof)

And then began the whole Who’s on First routine again…I don’t know…third base!

My father finally took pity on her and advised her to keep her helmet on (a war reference I’m not sure she got, but at this point was smart enough to not admit to).

And none of this has anything to do with the recipe, but I just thought I’d share.

Ingredients:

• 1 head of romaine or butter lettuce
• 1/2 English cucumber or 1 whole regular (small) cucumber
• 1 mango
• 1/2 cup thinly sliced red onion
• 2 Tablespoons finely chopped flat leaf Italian parsley
• 2 Tablespoons lime juice
• 1/2 teaspoon lime zest
• 1/3 cup olive oil
• pinch of salt

Directions:

• Chop the lettuce into bite-sized pieces and put into a large bowl.  Thinly slice the cucumber and cut the mango into bite-sized pieces.  Add them plus the onion to the lettuce.
• In a small jar with a tight lid, combine the parsley, lime juice, lime zest, olive oil and salt.  Shake vigorously to combine.
• When you are ready to serve the salad, pour the dressing on top and toss well to combine all ingredients.  Serve immediately.

Enjoy!