Mini Apple Pies

We regularly have a whole herd of deer prancing through our yard, feasting on the smorgasbord that is our landscaping.  So I decided to offer them an alternative to my bushes and trees.

Someone told me that they put out all the scraps for their deer, like apple and pepper cores, unusable lettuce leaves, etc.  This sounded like a great idea to me, so I thought I’d give it a try.

Turns out, our deer are gourmets.  They make the critic from the New York Times look like he’s someone who thinks a can of soup is good eats.

So far, they’ve ignored my peppers, trampled my lettuce and given a wide berth to my apple cores.  Our yard has earned 5 stars for the shrubbery and 1 star for the a la carte menu items.  I see them looking at me through the kitchen window like they can’t wait to get back to their little deer den and trash talk my (lack of) hospitality and culinary skills.  I’m pretty sure I consistently get a ‘Hooves down” rating from them.

The raccoons, on the other hand are as happy as can be.  Since there is no way I am going to bring this feast back inside to dispose of it, it generally goes from yard to garbage with as little direct contact as possible.  (Think nuclear waste, or radioactive material — gloves, tongs, mask, protective eye wear, head to toe covering- I’m pretty sure the neighbors have the EPA on auto-dial by now).

The raccoons, bless their furry little souls, are more like Yelp than the Los Angeles Times.  They are happy with fast food and aren’t looking for chilled mineral water, linen tablecloths and the perfect year for Dom Perignon, served at exactly the right temperature in the perfect champagne flute.

Every night was a frat party in our garbage can during my great “deer cuisine experiment”.  We tried enclosing the cans, but they just thanked us for giving them a nice, comfy fence to sit on while they nibbled the apple cores and passed around the lettuce.

They scared the living daylights out of the dog one night when I took her out to potty.  Just as she was about to do the deed, a great ruckus occurred in the garbage enclosure which sent her bolting for the house faster than if Jason, Freddy and Chuckie were all chasing her with chainsaws and hatchets.

So from now on, the outdoor restaurant around here is closed, and everyone will have to call Grubhub for their meals.

Ingredients:

• 3 gala, fuji or Braeburn apples
• 3/4 cup unsweetened applesauce
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1/8 teaspoon salt
• 12 – 16 sheets phyllo dough
• 7 Tablespoons melted butter

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350
2. Peel apples, core them and cut them into a small dice.
3. In a medium bowl, combine the apples, applesauce, cinnamon and salt.
4. Place 1 sheet of the phyllo dough on a cutting board or countertop, long side toward you, and brush with melted butter.  Place a second sheet on top of the first and brush with butter.  Fold the two sheets in half lengthwise (make a long rectangle).
5. Place 3 heaping Tablespoons of the apple mixture in a log shape about 2 inches from the short end. Fold the end over to cover the apples, then fold up the sides.  Roll the “log” over itself to the end.  Add extra butter to coat the outside of the log and lace on a lined baking sheet.
6. Repeat the process until all the filling is used (you will get between 6 and 8 rolls depending on how much filling you put into each roll.)
7. Bake the rolls for 15 minutes, turn over and bake 15 minutes more.

Enjoy!