Pumpkin Pudding

Thanksgiving  is busy enough around here without stressing about dessert.  Pumpkin pie is great, but it generally takes longer than I have what with making everything else.  Enter my pumpkin pudding.  It is literally minutes in the making.

This year, in particular, I find I am needing to simplify things as much as possible.

My parents are moving from one apartment to another in Florida.  I do not live in Florida, but I am trying to help them.  Not my best decision ever.

Last week, they were expecting a furniture delivery, but my mom had a doctor’s appointment during the infamous four hour delivery window.  No problem.  The building was willing to accept delivery, and the company had my phone number for any questions.  Again, not my best decision ever.

Woman from the company:  Good morning!!! We are so excited to deliver your furniture today!!  Hope you are having a fabulous day!!

Me:  Um, okay. (Inside the head voice:  Okay, now I know what Mary Poppins would sound like on uppers)

Woman: So, we have the armchair, the ottoman…

Me:  What?  No.  We didn’t order a chair or an ottoman.

Woman: Oh, Hahahahaha.  No, no, it’s only called armchair.  It’s an armchair couch!  And an ottoman…

Me:  You can call it a trampoline, but we ordered 2 beds, not an armchair or a couch, and definitely not an ottoman.

Woman: Oh. Hahahahahahaha.  My mistake.  Hahahaha.  Yes, yes, you are getting the beds.  Sorry!!!!!!  Okay, well, have a happy day.

Three hours after delivery my phone started blowing up:

Woman: Gooooood afternooooon!  So happy to talk to you again.  The delivery is complete.  Can you come down and sign for it?

Me: (inside the head voice: Three HOURS? to deliver two beds???  Did they have nap time to try them out? Were cookies and juice served first, I hope?!) I am not there, but the building manager who let them in will sign.  They need to go to the office.

Woman:  Okay!! Hahahaha.  No problem.  Thank you, and have a happy day!

Me: (Lady, you need to switch to decaf)

Two minutes later:

Woman: Hello!!!!!! Me again!!! How are you?  Um, would it be too much trouble for you to give me the name of the person?  So sorry to bother you, please have a great rest of the day!

Me:  No problem.  Her name is Susie Snowflake (all names have been changed to protect the innocent)

Two minutes later:

Woman: Hellooo again!  How are you?  Hope I am not bothering you too much, but I would really appreciate it if you could give me Susie’s number.  Hahahahahaha.  Please have a great afternoon!

Me:  (yes, you are bothering me too much, but if I snap at you, I will feel like I’m kicking a Sesame Street muppet.  Grrrrrr.) Um, sure.  Here is her number.

Two minutes later.

Woman:  Hi!  It’s me!!!! Hahahahahaha!!!  Just wanted you to know that they only accepted delivery of two of the three beds.  Did you not want the third bed?

Me:  (OMG!!!! Are you kidding me??!!  WHAT third bed?)  Well, as there are only two bedrooms, and we only ordered two beds, no, we do not want a third bed.  Pretty sure it would look awkward in the kitchen.

Woman:  Oh.  Hahahahahaha.  Okay.  We won’t bring up the third bed then.

Me: Gee, thanks.  You might want to check your delivery sheet to see who the third bed actually belongs to since it clearly isn’t ours.

Woman:  Okay!! Thank you!  Hope you have a nice day!!!

Me:  (I should have kicked the muppet two calls ago)

Ingredients:

• 1 can pumpkin puree
• 1/4 teaspoon all spice
• 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1/4 cup orange juice
• 3 Tablespoons monkfruit
• 4 teaspoons chia seeds (I use pre-ground, but the Vitamix kinda makes that a moot point)

Directions:

1. Place all ingredients in a Vitamix (or high speed blender) and puree till smooth.
2. Refrigerate till ready to serve.  Top with pumpkin granola, coconut whipped cream, pumpkin seeds, or whatever your heart desires!

Enjoy!