Pumpkin Scones

Pumpkin season is here!  And this is a really simple recipe to help you get your pumpkin fix.  Plus, it is ready in less than 15 minutes, so it’s a win win!

Too bad everything in life is not as simple as making these scones.

I recently ordered a desk online that you have to assemble yourself.  No big deal, since I’ve assembled my fair share of furniture over the years.  Or so I thought.

First of all,  the UPS guy left it out on the sidewalk.  Never even rang the doorbell or attempted to get it near the house.  Just dropped it like it was nuclear waste and skedaddled out of there as fast as he could.  Was this perhaps his subtle way of telling us we’d been ordering too many things online lately?  Maybe he’d already reached his 10,000 steps for the day and we were even lucky he actually stopped the truck at all before unloading it.  Hmmmm.

After dragging it up to the house, I unpacked it, and separated all the pieces.  It looked fairly simple.  Desktop, 2 legs, back bar, front bar, stabilizing bar.  Check.

Step one:  slide the right leg into the brackets.  Uh oh.  The right leg didn’t fit into the brackets.  So I tried the other leg.  It fit just fine.  Switched the legs.  The left leg still fit, but the right leg wouldn’t line up.  After 20 minutes and 20 new very creative curse words (if I do say so myself), I stormed downstairs and informed Tim that we were going to have to seal up that room in our house since there was no way I was going to be able to stuff that 6000 lb desk back into the box and get it back to UPS.  It was really too bad because it had been a really pleasant room up until that point.

Tim, of course, informed me that I was an idiot and just didn’t know how to assemble things, and off he went to do the job.

Twenty minutes and thirty new curse words later, I was not the only idiot in the house.  Hehehehehe.

Turns out, the company had shipped us two left legs and no right legs.

So I called them and got 30 minutes sucked out of my life that I will never get back.

Me: You sent two left legs instead of one left leg and one right leg

Them: Do you want a refund?

Me: No, I want a right leg

Them: How about a partial refund and you can go to the local hardware store and get the missing part

Me: I don’t know where you live, but in the real world where I live, hardware stores don’t sell right legs to random desks.

Them: Could you have someone build you the leg?

Me:  Sure.  Got the name of any good metalworkers in my neighborhood? Or maybe I could just prop up that half of the desk on a stack of books?

Them: So you do want to return it then.

Me:  No, what I want is the missing leg.

Them: I’ll check and see if we can send you a left leg.

Me: NO!  For the love of God, Do NOT send me any more left legs!  I need a right leg!!!!!!

Them: (after putting me on hold for a bazillion hours)  Sorry, we can’t send you that part, but we can send you an entire new desk.

Me:  Are you kidding me?  I don’t want an entire new desk.  Can’t you just send someone down to the factory floor to grab a right leg, put it in a box and send it to me?

Them:  Sorry.  No.  We have to ship an entire new desk.  But you can just remove the right leg from the package and send the rest back to us so you don’t have to unpack the whole thing.  Oh, and you can keep the extra left leg.

Me: Really?  Gee thanks!  So that’s my consolation prize.  Yipee!  It’s almost as good as winning the lottery!  A whole free left leg! (I may have been getting a bit snarky at this point.)  Seriously, the legs are in a separate box inside the big box.  Maybe you could go to the packing section and see if you could just snag me a box of legs.

Them: No, sorry.  We’ll have to ship you out a whole new desk.

Me:  And how do I get the desk back to you?  It is too big to fit into my car and the UPS driver just dropped it on my sidewalk last time.

Them:  Oh, that’s easy.  Just call the driver and tell him to wait while you take the leg out.  Or tell him to pick it up the next day.

Me: Oh.  Is that all I have to do?  Great!  What’s the UPS driver’s number so I can call him?

Them: (crickets)

Me:  Yeah.  Might want to revisit that whole shipping one leg thing.

Ingredients:

• 1  1/4 cups oat flour
• 1/3 cup maple sugar (NOT syrup)
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 3 Tablespoons butter (vegan)
• 1/2 cup raisins
• 1 teaspoon ginger
• 2 teaspoons pumpkin spice
• 1/3 cup + 1 Tablespoon pumpkin puree

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 400
2. In a medium bowl, combine flour, sugar, powder, ginger ad pumpkin spice.  Add the melted butter  and mix till the mixture resembles wet sand.
3. Stir in the pumpkin puree, then fold in the raisins.
4. Using an ice cream scoop, put 6 scoops on a lined or non-stick baking pan.  Bake for 12 minutes.
5. After removing from the oven, gently press down on the tops to slightly flatten.  Cool, then transfer to wire rack to finish cooling.

Enjoy!