Scalloped Potatoes

I don’t usually eat white potatoes, but since Tim has been home due to Covid, we are both eating things we don’t normally eat.

I am making him eat tofu (although not that he knows), and I am buying and cooking things like white potatoes because I am making him eat tofu.  Gotta throw him off the scent somehow.  Hehehehehe.

But going to the store these days is not without peril.

First, by the time I sanitize myself,  get my credit card out of my wallet, put on my mask and hazmat suit, sanitize the cart that has already (they claim) been sanitized, sanitize my  hands (again)  because I may have touched something that was not sanitized, try to steer the cart with my feet so I can keep my hands sterile to grab a produce bag, turn it inside out and coax a head of broccoli into it all without it touching anything other than the next closest head of broccoli, I am not paying the slightest bit of attention to any sort of a list I might have foolishly made before leaving home.

Back in the car, I Clorox every surface in sight: credit card, sunglasses, phone, wheel, door, seat, dashboard,, bumper, windshield, dog seat, dog.  If I can reach it, it gets Cloroxed.  It doesn’t mater whether I touched it or not, I just go all Mr. Clean on every surface in sight.   Next comes the hand sanitizer because at this point, the Clorox is working on dissolving the third layer of skin and I need to counteract it with something that leaves the skin intact but will probably slowly kill me five years from now.

Then, when I get home and unload the groceries, I elbow the sink on and scrub every inch of exposed skin so thoroughly that I would put Marcus Welbey, McDreamy, Dr. Oz, Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman and Dr. Moreau to shame.  Then, I attack my credit card, phone and glasses again.

The downside of all this scrubbing though is that so far, I’ve lost one of my credit cards.  It either deteriorated due to overuse of sanitizer and Clorox or is hiding behind a petrified leaf of lettuce in the fridge from 2 months ago.  I’ve also lost a pair of sunglasses that I swore I took off before I went into the store since I won’t put my hands anywhere near my face once I am inside, and I really can’t see at all with them on, despite how glamorous and mysterious they make me look with my mask and neck to floor covering.  They should have been in the car where I left them, but they are nowhere to be found these days. And I’m also down one set of keys to the car.  No idea which  pocket they might be lurking in or under what pile of used wipes they were buried under and are now gracing the city dump.

If this pandemic doesn’t end soon, there is no telling what I might lose next.  Tim and Chloe should be very scared.

Ingredients:

• 4 cups thinly sliced baking potatoes (highly recommend a mandolin as you want the slices paper thin)
• 1  1/2 cups thinly sliced onions (again, use a mandolin)
• 1  1/2 cups silken tofu
• 1 cup coconut milk (from can, stir before measuring)
• 3/4 cups parmesan cheese
• 1 head of garlic
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon pepper
• 1/4 teaspoon paprika
• parsley
• butter for greasing the baking dish

Directions:

1. Heat the oven to 400.  Cut the top off of the head of garlic and drizzle it with olive oil.  Wrap it tightly in tin foil and bake it in the oven for approximately 30 minutes, till it feels soft when you gently squeeze it. (You don’t have to wait for the oven to come up to temperature to put the garlic in.  It might take a bit over 30 minutes if you place it in earlier, but the upside is you don’t have to stand around waiting for the oven to warm up.)
2. Meanwhile, peel and slice the potatoes and onions.  Grease a 9″ pie plate.
3. In a blender, combine the tofu, parmesan cheese, salt, pepper and paprika.  When the garlic is done, remove from the oven, allow to cool enough so that you can squeeze the cloves out of the head into the blender.  Blend the mixture till smooth and creamy.
4. Place a layer (somewhat overlapping each other) of potatoes in the bottom of the baking dish. You are using about 1 cup.  Sprinkle about 1/4 of the onions on top.  Pour 1/4 of the sauce on top, spreading it evenly with the back of a spoon and sprinkle with a bit of chopped parsley.
5. Repeat the layering of potatoes, onions, sauce and parsley 3 more times, ending with the sauce and parsley on top.
6. Bake for 45 minutes-1 hour till top is golden and potatoes are soft when you insert a knife tip into the dish.  Cover if the dish is getting too brown and the potatoes are not fully cooked and continue baking.

Enjoy!