White Bean And Artichoke Panzanella

For Christmas, someone gave me The Ring Doorbell, which has been great when we have deliveries and I don’t want to open the door unless I absolutely, positively have to.

A few weeks ago, my phone chimed, indicating that there was motion at the front door, but whoever it was did not ring the bell.  This happens occasionally as the wind blows the surrounding bushes and trees.  Since I was in the middle of something, I ignored it, but the chime kept going off.  Finally, I opened my app and saw what was setting it off.  There was a guy looking in our front window.  I couldn’t see his face, just the side of his body and the one arm propped up against the window.  Weirdly, he was not wearing a shirt.

Was he some creepy guy, or someone who needed help?

I pushed the microphone, and asked who he was and what he wanted, while I found the house phone to dial 911.  No reply from shirtless guy.

Getting really alarmed, I asked if I needed to call the police, but he didn’t seem to hear me.  Thoughts of Charles Manson, Ted Bundy, Freddie, Jason, Chuckie and Bride of Chuckie filled my mind.  My heart was pounding out of my chest.  I was having the mother of all anxiety attacks.  Should I try to run out the back door?  Lock myself in a room? Why wasn’t the dog barking?  She barks when she hears a leaf drift to the ground in the middle of a snowstorm, so why was she looking at me like I was nuts?  Where was Spiderman, Superman or Batman when you needed them?  At that point, I’d settle for Barney Fife.

Just as I was hitting the final digit for emergency, creepy shirtless guy moved suddenly.  A large hand with enormously long fingers covered part of the camera.  Then…a head popped up in the lower left hand side of the camera and two inquisitive eyes looked directly at me.

Turns out a close-up of a lizard hanging out sideways on a Ring doorbell looks just like a mass murderer. My bad.

Ingredients:

• 2 cups roughly chopped tomatoes
• 1 can cannellini beans (drained and rinsed)
• 2 Tablespoons finely chopped mint leaves
• 1 (9.9 oz) jar of water packed artichoke hearts, drained and cut into bite-sized pieces
• 2 cups tightly packed spinach leaves, torn into bite-sized pieces
• 1 cup stale bread crumbs

Dressing:

• 1/4 cup olive oil
• 2 Tablespoons lemon juice
• 1 teaspoon minced garlic
• pinch of salt

Directions:

1. In a large bowl, combine all salad ingredients.
2. In a small bowl or jar with a tight lid, combine dressing ingredients.  Pour over salad, toss to combine and refrigerate of 1 hour before serving.

Enjoy!