Winter Broccoli Salad

Years ago, my new year’s resolution was to do more yoga.  Fortunately, I have a bestie who is a yoga instructor, and offers several classes a week.  Unfortunately, she and I have a very different idea of how long a breath should take.

Here is how a typical class goes:

Step 1: lull everyone into a false sense of security.  Start in a seated position or even lying down and take some gentle movement to warm up.

Step 2: progress to standing poses where you can start to feel a little challenged.  She is talking as though she is sitting still in a sunny meadow watching butterflies gently float by, while you begin to feel as though you are using every last bit of ab strength you have to mouth the words “Help me!”

Step 3: she goes in for the kill.  While you are hanging in your 56th downward dog, flowing between that and your 98th plank with a chaturanga thrown in for good measure, she continues in her even tone: …and hold the pose for two breaths….

And here is where I have an issue with her.  My two breaths go like this: one Mississippi, two Mississippi. Fall into a puddle on the floor.

Her two  breaths go like this: one ( reads the US constitution), two ( reads War and Peace). Now repeat.  Two thousand times!

I have no idea how she is holding that much breath in her little body, but I suspect she has an oxygen tube concealed under her yoga gear.  Meanwhile, I am gasping like a fish out of water, trying to remain conscious and not land in a heap, while counting one Mississippi, get to two, get to TWO!, GET TO TWO ALREADY!!!!!

The worst part is that she seems completely unfazed by the dagger looks I am shooting her via zoom.  I think she is forgetting I know where she lives. Mwahahahaha.

Check out my new You Tube channel: CAN’T BEET PLANTS and cook along with me!

Ingredients:

• 4 cups of chopped broccoli
• 1/2 cups cup chopped red onion
• 1/2 cup chopped carrots
• 3/4 cup chopped radishes
• 1 cup chopped tomatoes
• 1/4 cup olive oil
• 2 Tablespoons lemon
• 1 teaspoon minced garlic
• 1/2 teaspoon Dijon mustard

Directions:

1. Add the broccoli, onion, carrots, radishes and tomatoes to a large bowl.
2. In a small bowl or container with a lid, combine the oil, lemon, garlic and mustard.  Shake or whisk to combine.  Pour over the salad and toss well to combine.

Enjoy!